Magnavox / Funai Electric Co. - DTV Digital 2 Analog Converter Box " Mascot " (( 2008 ))

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-->> February 17 .. 2009 !!

The big ANALOG to Digital Switch was supposed to occur for like 99 & of the people. But i am one of the those that will/ would / IS being EFFECTED.

(( OR infected or something. ))

Whatever.. the Landlord cut off cable long ago, and i just can't afford Direct T.V. or what have you.



There has been an extension til' June .. but some channels are already flipping over to Digital apparently. Well it's almost past midnight on the 18th .. and Conan is still on. Guess Southern Colorado kept the analog on for a little while longer.

There is now " DOOMSDAY Y2k Screen" .. No Chieftan Test Patter with his eyes glowing red. Cats aren't jumping in thru' the windows and scratching and trying to molest my pants with the vacuum cleaner.

So i guess everything is ok for now.

Not that i watch much T.V. anyway .. but ya know i'd prolly curl up and die if i couldn't watch TMNT on Saturday morning or a bad rerun of " MATH MONSTERS " at 4 A.M. on the PBS.

My damm box is hooked up.. but .. there are some issues and no signal.

This little bastard, sure he may look cute..

but he's confusing and frustrating the hell out of me.

i also can't figure if he's a some kind of Box-headed, Ricola Reject who just escaped from a Mental Institution in the Swiss Alps dedicated to the research of Rodgers and Hammerstein and the carcinogenic effects of the digital conversion of Julie Andrews on the brain of the mentally ill.

Or maybe it's Frank Sinatra reincarnated as a DTV box.

I just can't can't tell.

But that's the Sound of Music ,Baby .. and this lil' mother f7cker keeps sayin' :: - - - NO SIGNAL .. NO SIGNAL .. NO SIGNAL !! !!

So that's why i'm taking a break from hooking the idiot box to the IDIOT BOX and scanning in this little twerp.

And it's these types of that give you a clue as to why i'm usually just so damm cranky !!






o this is what hell is like,huh ??


..where's the heck is the flood, ya twerp ??

Yeh give the converter box a facial features,a fedora ( or whatever the heck that type of hat is called) , a clip- neck tie, Steve Urkel pants and suspenders, and take his shoes off..

BOOM instant Mascot ..

Christ .. and people hate my artwork .. but this gut makes it onto a quarter of a billion converter box manuals.









That's the face of a Mascot that could get his Digital Converter box to work.. he could figure out the instructions and Troubleshooting sections of the manual that obviously was typed up by a barrel full of monkeys on methamphetamine.

( Well then again my exhausted thought waves are running about as quickly thick as digital molasses, still. ) ..



:: " Diagram E . 500 - If your TV lacks audio / visual (A/V) jacks, you will need to purchase an RF Modulator for the coaxial cable. RF Modulators are relatively inexpensive components but not the ones with the little switch toggles which have both A/V and coaxial inputs outputs and aput epex units with the five angula coheexel routounes, which will allow you to connect to the Digital Converter device using A/V cables divided by three and hooked into nine jars of peanut butter, a potato and child's 'Volcanic' Since Fair project and into the TV using a coaxial cable of the Analogic sphincter switch protruding into the back of the inexical cable and ambelical AV chord protruding from Uranus, not your anus but the planet. These type RF Modulators may not be found anywhere home electronics are sold but only sold thru' NASA, the black markets in the former Soviet Republic, and at Donald Rumsfeld's Lemonade stand and will cost you a batrillionzillion dollars."


.. somebody shoot me.







Yeh that face is more like it, ya little hell -spawn.

..all this is really is another damm thing for me to plug into the wall and waste electricity !!

"WELCOME TO HELL !! You've made the SDTV Safely !!


BUT ALL WE SHOW HERE ARE NONSTOP RERUNS OFSCTV !!

YOU ARE DOOMED TO the OVER-INEPTITUDE WHICH ISN'T EVEN A WORD OF THE CANADIAN HUMOR THAT IS JOHN CANDY AND COMPANY !!! AAHAHAHAAAAA!! "


.. actually .. that wouldn't so bad a fate.


But this ' NO SIGNAL NO SIGNAL ' is worse than old VCR flickering 12:00 , 12:00 , 12:00 ,12:00 .. all night long.

I hate this !!


That's it..

Where the f7ck is my hammer ?!


>v<